In the globalization process, technology has changed the way people connect with each other. While this development may bring about some potential benefits, I would argue they are eclipsed by the significant drawbacks.

In the globalization process,
technology
has changed the way
people
connect with each other.
While
this
development may bring about some potential benefits, I would argue they are eclipsed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several reasons why the advance of
technology
is beneficial.
Firstly
, in the past,
people
mostly contacted others by
letters
Fix the agreement mistake
letter
show examples
. Now it does not seem to be a convenient way because it took a long time to do the process.
Instead
of that,
people
can immediately receive and answer messages through many social platforms
such
as
facebook
Correct your spelling
Facebook
show examples
, twitter and
skype
Correct your spelling
Skype
show examples
.
Additionally
,
people
can even make new friends easily on mentioned applications anywhere around the world just by a phone connected to wifi.
Moreover
, technologies allow
people
to reconnect with
long- lost
Correct your spelling
long-lost
show examples
relationships and keep in touch with
long- distance
Correct your spelling
long-distance
show examples
relationships.
For instance
, abroad students can update the family information in their hometown and can video call to see them every single day to feel less lonely in a strange country. In spite of the benefits above, I believe that
technology
development has a greater drawback affecting our communication society. The principal one is that
people
may experience virtual distance because they only connect
others
Change preposition
to others
show examples
by
screen
Add an article
a screen
the screen
show examples
of devices and they may misunderstand and even not be honest about things without hesitation.
In addition
, higher
technology
use adds up to significantly less time spent together as a couple, less satisfaction and connection, and higher levels of depression and anxiety. Because a relationship needs to be built up by both physical and mental aspects as meetings in real person not just online meetings. Another striking feature is that
cutting- edge
Correct your spelling
cutting-edge
show examples
technologies can be an effective distraction in the current moment. A good illustration for it is that when you sit down in the classroom listening to your teacher or in the coffee shop hearing your friends’
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
, notifications
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
social networking sites may bother and interrupt you and other
people
or even ruin
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important moments. In conclusion, it seems to me that the disadvantages of
technology
bringing our social life are more considerable than its advantages. Through
this
essay, I would like to send a message that we should balance the use of technologies in our virtual and reliable life to keep our
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
healthy.
Submitted by luudang97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: