In the globalization process, technology has changed the way people connect with each other. While this development may bring about some potential benefits, I would argue they are eclipsed by the significant drawbacks.

#globalization #process #technology #people #development

In the globalization process,

technology

has changed the way

people

connect with each other.

While

this

development may bring about some potential benefits, I would argue they are eclipsed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

significant drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several reasons why the advance of

technology

is beneficial.

Firstly

, in the past,

people

mostly contacted others by

letters

Fix the agreement mistake

letter

show examples

. Now it does not seem to be a convenient way because it took a long time to do the process.

Instead

of that,

people

can immediately receive and answer messages through many social platforms

such

facebook

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Facebook

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, twitter and

skype

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Skype

show examples

Additionally

people

can even make new friends easily on mentioned applications anywhere around the world just by a phone connected to wifi.

Moreover

, technologies allow

people

to reconnect with

long- lost

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long-lost

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relationships and keep in touch with

long- distance

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long-distance

show examples

relationships.

For instance

, abroad students can update the family information in their hometown and can video call to see them every single day to feel less lonely in a strange country. In spite of the benefits above, I believe that

technology

development has a greater drawback affecting our communication society. The principal one is that

people

may experience virtual distance because they only connect

others

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to others

show examples

screen

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a screen

the screen

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of devices and they may misunderstand and even not be honest about things without hesitation.

In addition

, higher

technology

use adds up to significantly less time spent together as a couple, less satisfaction and connection, and higher levels of depression and anxiety. Because a relationship needs to be built up by both physical and mental aspects as meetings in real person not just online meetings. Another striking feature is that

cutting- edge

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cutting-edge

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technologies can be an effective distraction in the current moment. A good illustration for it is that when you sit down in the classroom listening to your teacher or in the coffee shop hearing your friends’

story

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stories

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, notifications

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from

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social networking sites may bother and interrupt you and other

people

or even ruin

the

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apply

show examples

important moments. In conclusion, it seems to me that the disadvantages of

technology

bringing our social life are more considerable than its advantages. Through

this

essay, I would like to send a message that we should balance the use of technologies in our virtual and reliable life to keep our

relationship

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relationships

show examples

healthy.

Submitted by luudang97 on Mon May 08 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

382 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the globalization process, technology has changed the way people connect with each other. While this development may bring about some potential benefits, I would argue they are eclipsed by the significant drawbacks.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage from using their cars?

Some people think that universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Q) Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoid any change. others, however, think that change is always a good thing. discuss both views and give your opinion.