Some people think that marketing helps promote products to the public. Others claim that well-trained, competent staff are the key to success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that utilizing appropriate marketing strategies plays a crucial role in promoting
products
,
while
others think the most essential factor to increase sales is hiring competent workers. In my opinion, both aforementioned statements are equally important to have successful results. On the one hand, using the right marketing strategies is considered one of the most effective methods to make people familiarize with the available
products
produced by certain
businesses
. The power of the marketing should not be underestimated since it directly affects the profit of the
businesses
. By determining the right methods, companies can achieve perceptible differences
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their revenues.
For example
, nowadays advertising
products
via various social media platforms,
such
as Facebook, Instagram and YouTube, is a common practice used by many suppliers. Considering the fact that people spend a considerable portion of their time scrolling through their feeds,
this
might increase consumers' awareness of the
products
.
Furthermore
, people are constantly exposed to ads that are placed on the windows of public vehicles during their commute to work or other places.
On the other hand
, others advocate for the idea that having well-trained and competent staff is the main contributor to achieving a higher level of sales. Customer satisfaction plays a vital role that companies closely follow and try to improve on a continuous basis.
This
essential factor mainly depends on recruiting workers who can develop good relationships with buyers and present the product with great enthusiasm.
For instance
, many international
businesses
, especially the ones that operate in the service sector,
such
as hotels, restaurants, and bars, excessively pay attention to their employees' behaviours toward buyers and have comprehensive recruitment systems in order to choose suitable applicants.
To conclude
, in my opinion, both marketing and the quality of service are the key factors that help
businesses
attain their goals and increase their profits. Companies should focus on choosing the right marketing strategies and hiring qualified employees to promote their
products
.
Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on

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task achievement
While the essay is generally well-structured, you could enhance task achievement by providing further relevant and specific examples to support your points. This would make your arguments even more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Transitional phrases and summarizing sentences at the end of each paragraph can help to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets out the topic well. You have stated both views and your own opinion, which is essential for a high band score.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarises your main points and reinforces your opinion, bringing the essay to a satisfactory close.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is strong. You present both sides of the argument before giving your own opinion, which is a reliable approach.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, especially the points regarding social media marketing and the importance of well-trained staff in service sectors.

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