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Writing Samples
Band 8

Nowadays, there is a rapid increase of rubbish amounts all around the world. What are the main causes for it? What can be a solution, in your opinion?

#rubbish #amounts #world
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In recent decades,
citizens
Use synonyms
 have improper behaviours in dealing with litter, which would have detrimental impacts on our society.
This
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 article will give some reasons why
this
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 phenomenon takes place and the measures will be offered as follows. On the one hand, there are several reasons that people discard what they own.
To begin
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 with, the residents buy something
due to
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 impulse buying which means that they don't need them. In order to save space in homes, those usually may be discarded.
Furthermore
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, there are no severe regulations to prevent the
citizens
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 not to doing
this
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.
As a result
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, they don't take it seriously and drop litter casually.
Finally
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, the resident's lack of awareness that throwing
rubbish
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 improperly would greatly contaminate our environment and exert huge pressure on the government to tackle it.
For example
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 , plastic bags are difficult to degenerate naturally and if they are eaten by some animals accidentally, those animals' lives may be endangered.
On the other hand
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, many actions can be done to improve
this
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 situation.
Firstly
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, the community to hold some activities to engrave the significance of coping with the
rubbish
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 properly in the
citizens
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' mind and promote the
citizens
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' initiatives.
Secondly
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, the government could implement some policies and even legislate laws to punish those people who drop little freely and enable people to be more cautious about
rubbish
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. The government could allocate more money to foster the development of related technology to enhance the efficiency of dealing with
rubbish
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, we should do as much as we can to eliminate the detrimental impacts on society.
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Grammatical
Work on small grammatical errors and inconsistencies, such as plural agreement issues and missing articles: "those usually may be discarded" can be improved to "those items are usually discarded."
Task Response
Include more specific examples to strengthen the points and give your argument more weight. For example, cite studies or specific instances when discussing impulse buying or governmental policies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to maintain coherence. Phrases like "On the other hand" could be more precise and balanced to enhance flow.
Structure
Clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion that frames the essay effectively.
Task Response
Addresses the task comprehensively by identifying causes and proposing solutions to the issue of increased rubbish.
Vocabulary
Demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and phrase variations, such as "detrimental impacts" and "engender the significance."

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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