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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2000

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2000
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year
The given tables represent
sales
 of
fairtrade-labelled
Correct your spelling
fair trade-labelled
show examples
 products
such
 as bananas and coffee
seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
 among five different European
countries
 in 1999 and 2004.
Overall
, coffee
sales
 had increased for all
countries
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
babanas
Correct your spelling
bananas
balance
sales
, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly decreased for Belgium and Sweeden, between 1999 and 2004. The UK had become the most important customer among other cities with 20
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
expenditure
Change preposition
in expenditure
show examples
 in 2004.
This
 trend
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
show examples
 by Switzerland which was the leading supplier in 1999, but in 2004 their
sales
about
Add a missing verb
were about
show examples
 6
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
.
On the other hand
, Sweden had remained
its
Change preposition
in its
show examples
 position in 2004,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was the least significant
saler
Correct your spelling
sales
 of coffee. For bananas, the UK and Switzerland
again
Add a missing verb
are again
show examples
 remarkable suppliers with 47 and 5.5
millions
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million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
, respectively.
In contrast
,
sales
 of bananas in Belgium and Sweeden decreased
under
Change preposition
by
show examples
 1.1
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
. These
countries
were contribute
Change the verb form
contributed
show examples
 less than other European
countries
 for both products each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, countries, millions, euros with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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