University and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's world, the demand for
university
education has become a top priority globally. Many young people aspire to enter
university
, pursue their desired
profession
, and achieve success in their
field
.
However
, some believe that
this
is not the
right
path, choosing
instead
to enter the workforce and earn money without a degree. Currently, many young people aim to get into
university
, work in their chosen
profession
, and achieve
results
through it.
This
is the
right
decision because it pushes individuals to work hard and strive for a better future. To reach one's goals, continuous effort is essential. Nowadays, almost everyone asks for a
university
diploma because it is something that can
last
a lifetime.
For example
, being a translator is one of the most lucrative professions today. In Tashkent, translators can earn up to $70 per day. To pursue
this
career, knowing languages like English or Turkish is necessary. Those who know a foreign language today can create their own future and achieve success.
On the other hand
, many people are achieving great
results
without a diploma.
For example
, my parents never attended any
university
. They are entrepreneurs, exporting various fruits and other products abroad.
This
is a profitable and respectable
profession
, as my parents say.
According to
them, you can earn better than school teachers through entrepreneurship.
However
,
this
profession
is temporary, and as time goes on, my younger siblings will continue in
this
field
, maintaining our family business. For us,
this
business has become a family tradition.
Additionally
, it is possible to achieve success in other fields without a degree. In my opinion,
however
, entering
university
and
then
achieving
results
is the
right
and convenient path. I personally aim to obtain a degree and
then
achieve significant
results
.
This
, I believe, is the
right
decision, and my parents fully support me in
this
. In conclusion, we live in a rapidly developing country where every person has the opportunity to achieve their goals in their chosen
field
.
Therefore
, everyone should work in the
field
that is
most suitable for them and strive to show
results
.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task response
While your essay provides a personal perspective on education and work, it deviates from the original prompt about distance learning versus traditional classroom settings. Align your arguments more closely with the prompt to address its key aspects.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly presents a main idea and supports it with relevant examples or arguments, staying focused on the essay prompt.
task response
Better integration of examples, especially about distance learning, into the main argument can enhance overall cohesion and task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure.
task achievement
You effectively use personal experiences to illustrate your points, which makes the essay engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • Flexibility
  • Self-paced
  • Accessibility
  • Cost-effective
  • Remote education
  • Virtual classrooms
  • Technological proficiency
  • Self-discipline
  • Interaction
  • E-learning platforms
  • Credibility
  • Online programs
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Traditional classroom setting
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