University and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's world, the demand for
university
Use synonyms
education has become a top priority globally. Many young people aspire to enter
university
Use synonyms
, pursue their desired
profession
Use synonyms
, and achieve success in their
field
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some believe that
this
Linking Words
is not the
right
Use synonyms
path, choosing
instead
Linking Words
to enter the workforce and earn money without a degree. Currently, many young people aim to get into
university
Use synonyms
, work in their chosen
profession
Use synonyms
, and achieve
results
Use synonyms
through it.
This
Linking Words
is the
right
Use synonyms
decision because it pushes individuals to work hard and strive for a better future. To reach one's goals, continuous effort is essential. Nowadays, almost everyone asks for a
university
Use synonyms
diploma because it is something that can
last
Linking Words
a lifetime.
For example
Linking Words
, being a translator is one of the most lucrative professions today. In Tashkent, translators can earn up to $70 per day. To pursue
this
Linking Words
career, knowing languages like English or Turkish is necessary. Those who know a foreign language today can create their own future and achieve success.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people are achieving great
results
Use synonyms
without a diploma.
For example
Linking Words
, my parents never attended any
university
Use synonyms
. They are entrepreneurs, exporting various fruits and other products abroad.
This
Linking Words
is a profitable and respectable
profession
Use synonyms
, as my parents say.
According to
Linking Words
them, you can earn better than school teachers through entrepreneurship.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
profession
Use synonyms
is temporary, and as time goes on, my younger siblings will continue in
this
Linking Words
field
Use synonyms
, maintaining our family business. For us,
this
Linking Words
business has become a family tradition.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is possible to achieve success in other fields without a degree. In my opinion,
however
Linking Words
, entering
university
Use synonyms
and
then
Linking Words
achieving
results
Use synonyms
is the
right
Use synonyms
and convenient path. I personally aim to obtain a degree and
then
Linking Words
achieve significant
results
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
, I believe, is the
right
Use synonyms
decision, and my parents fully support me in
this
Linking Words
. In conclusion, we live in a rapidly developing country where every person has the opportunity to achieve their goals in their chosen
field
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everyone should work in the
field
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
most suitable for them and strive to show
results
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While your essay provides a personal perspective on education and work, it deviates from the original prompt about distance learning versus traditional classroom settings. Align your arguments more closely with the prompt to address its key aspects.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly presents a main idea and supports it with relevant examples or arguments, staying focused on the essay prompt.
task response
Better integration of examples, especially about distance learning, into the main argument can enhance overall cohesion and task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid structure.
task achievement
You effectively use personal experiences to illustrate your points, which makes the essay engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • Flexibility
  • Self-paced
  • Accessibility
  • Cost-effective
  • Remote education
  • Virtual classrooms
  • Technological proficiency
  • Self-discipline
  • Interaction
  • E-learning platforms
  • Credibility
  • Online programs
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Traditional classroom setting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: