IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Children can learn from movies, books and the Internet than real-life experience. Do you agree?

#children #movies #books #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that youngsters can learn more about
life
Use synonyms
 using different types of ludic materials namely movies or books. I partially agree with
such
Linking Words
 a point of view, because even though
this
Linking Words
 type of educational material allows a great source of knowledge,
children
Use synonyms
 who are exposed to real experiences may
also
Linking Words
 be prepared to deal with
life
Use synonyms
 challenges. On the one hand, nowadays books or movies are designed to provide a wide explanation of basic
life
Use synonyms
 situations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
children
Use synonyms
 have become more curious over the years about
such
Linking Words
 questions.
For example
Linking Words
, It is estimated that 4 out of 10 Brazilian offspring relate more effectively to understanding financial challenges through modern Mathematical books offered at school, which may raise awareness about effective ways to deal with economic issues in adult
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, learning through an unexpected situation may help to raise
children
Use synonyms
's knowledge about required choices, as
this
Linking Words
 contact allows
children
Use synonyms
 to think deeply about a more effective way to deal with
such
Linking Words
 problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is known that for
children
Use synonyms
 who spend their finances on expensive products
such
Linking Words
 as games, and toys without previous planning may probably try to ask any type of discount at the next opportunity once they have the chance to do so.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though ludic material may be an effective choice for Scion to learn about
life
Use synonyms
 experience, learning through real experiences
also
Linking Words
 raise
children
Use synonyms
's knowledge.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of choice needs to be made by each parent, as they know how to succeed whit their offspring's expectations.
Submitted by Nayara (rhuanbr36) on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: