IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The Pie chart below gives information on the highest level education of women in someland 1945 and 1995

The Pie chart below gives information on the highest level education of women in someland 1945 and 1995
#information #level #education #women #someland
The two pie charts provided information about how different the highest
level
education
 of women in Someland
percentagewise
Correct your spelling
percentage-wise
 between 1945 and 1995.
Overall
, at the beginning of the
period
 post graduate contributed the least to the
level
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
 of women in Someland, and no schooling and third grade
the
Add a missing verb
were the
show examples
 most significant of
level
education
. In comparison,
at the end
 of the
period
, no schooling, third grade and
year
 6 became the lowest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women’s
level
education
, and
bachelor’s
Correct article usage
a bachelor’s
show examples
 degree was the largest of
level
education
. Master’s
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 accounted for 0% in 1945, which increase twentyfold to one-fifth in 1995, and bachelor’s
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 was 1% in 1945
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and experienced a significant rose to 50% in 1995. At the beginning,
year
 12 was 15% and, that experienced a slight growth of 5% in 1995.
In contrast
,
year
 9 in 1945 remained constant
10
Change preposition
at 10
show examples
%
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
 years. No school and third grade, which comprised exactly three quarters in 1945, fell dramatically to 0%, respectively, after a 50-
year
period
.
Year
 6
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made up 15% in 1945,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 fell
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 to 0%
at the end
 of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, education, period, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!