The Pie chart below gives information on the highest level education of women in someland 1945 and 1995

The Pie chart below gives information on the highest level education of women in someland 1945 and 1995
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The two pie charts provided information about how different the highest
level
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education
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of women in Someland
percentagewise
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percentage-wise
between 1945 and 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the
period
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post graduate contributed the least to the
level
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education
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of education
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of women in Someland, and no schooling and third grade
the
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were the
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most significant of
level
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education
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. In comparison,
at the end
Linking Words
of the
period
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, no schooling, third grade and
year
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6 became the lowest
of
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apply
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women’s
level
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education
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, and
bachelor’s
Correct article usage
a bachelor’s
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degree was the largest of
level
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education
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. Master’s
degree
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degrees
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accounted for 0% in 1945, which increase twentyfold to one-fifth in 1995, and bachelor’s
degree
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degrees
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was 1% in 1945
,
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apply
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and experienced a significant rose to 50% in 1995. At the beginning,
year
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12 was 15% and, that experienced a slight growth of 5% in 1995.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
year
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9 in 1945 remained constant
10
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at 10
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%
both
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in both
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years. No school and third grade, which comprised exactly three quarters in 1945, fell dramatically to 0%, respectively, after a 50-
year
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period
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.
Year
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6
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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made up 15% in 1945,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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fell
significant
Change the word
significantly
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to 0%
at the end
Linking Words
of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, education, period, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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