IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashion values such as honor, kindness and trust no longer seem important. To what extent you agree or disagree

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In today’s world, a person is evaluated by his belongings and status in
society
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.
While
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, some
people
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 are impressed by the financial position of others, traditional value holders are trusted with huge responsibilities and applauded by
society
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, in general. Those who exhibit high moral values are considered role models. Men of principles hold a paramount position in
society
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 and
people
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 tend to show unparalleled trust in them.
Although
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 a small fraction of
society
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 is impressed by the financial position of some masses, individuals who are on the highest pedestal of character have significant followers.
For example
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, a general election held in 2024 in Pakistan revealed that the general masses voted for a political figure who was free from financial corruption and always stood on moral ethics.
Consequently
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, traditional value holders are entrusted with responsibilities. Orthodox value system based on honour, kindness and trust is still viewed as prestigious and appreciated by
people
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.
Although
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 material possessions have a sparkling effect,
people
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 know that all glitters are not gold. Societies are built upon the footprints of men of character who display the highest degree of integrity and show kindness and in return, these values are appreciated and celebrated by the
people
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.
For example
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, a philanthropist in India had a huge followership and he earned unmatched and unprecedented respect in his life. Resultantly, he received enormous funding from the public and rendered exceptional services for humanity. In the modern era,
people
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 are assessed on their material possessions and societal placement. On one hand, some
people
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 get influenced by these worldly attributes but
on the other hand
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,
people
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 with character are considered trustworthy for the discharge of special duties and they are treasured.

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction provides a clear statement on your stance regarding the topic. This sets the stage for your entire essay clearly.
coherence & cohesion
Add a concluding paragraph that summarises your key points and restates your position. This not only strengthens your argument but also rounds off your essay nicely.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, try to integrate a wider variety of real-world cases or hypothetical examples to support your ideas. This can make your argument more compelling.
coherence & cohesion
Organize your paragraphs around a single central idea to improve readability. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas both within and between paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Social status
  • Old fashioned values
  • Consumer culture
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Genuine relationships
  • Societal norms
  • Material success
  • Moral integrity
  • Inner values
  • Upholding virtues
  • Material possessions
  • Inculcate
  • Evolved values
  • Ethical principles
  • Monetary wealth
  • Public acclaim
  • Personal virtue
  • Contrast and balance
  • Simplification of values
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