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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think it is a negative development.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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In
this
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 day and out,the latest innovation has been introducing fascinating features in smart gadgets that engaged the
children
Use synonyms
 more than enough. It has numerous positive aspects in human lives but its demerits are overwhelming. I will discuss my disagreement points with feasible reasons in an upcoming paragraph. To commence with,
children
Use synonyms
 spend their time on mobile phones because it has many attractive qualities . To dive into the roots, Instagram and Snapchat introduce interesting features that engaged the
children
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, an overwhelming lifestyle of parents when both are working and giving a mobile to an individual
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 them busy and away from professional work
such
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 as office and home tasks.
Thus
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, they don't have much time for spending with families and
children
Use synonyms
 are addicted to mobile phones. Excessive use of the Internet has detrimental effects on individual health. A child becomes physically weak when he doesn't show an interest in physical activities
while
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 using smartphones.spending most of the time on the Internet leads to acute chronic and acute diseases.
For instance
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, a university survey in Canada, investigate that 40%of
children
Use synonyms
 suffer
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 non-commutable diseases
such
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 as obesity and diabetes.
Furthermore
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, a child becomes introverted. He always prefers to play indoor activities
such
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 as video games and ludo online rather than playing outdoor activities with his friends. it could be possible he lost his precious contacts.
Thus
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, where technology has many positive sides there it has a lot of negative consequences easily for kids.
To conclude
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, mobile phones snatch the sleep of
children
Use synonyms
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them introverts and physically weak and
also
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 many details effects on their health.
Submitted by aqsagoraya9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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