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Band 6.5

Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us want to be and to look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #individuals
It is commonly believed that
advertisements
 prevent
everyone
 from having their own personality and convince them to have the same thing in most
things
,
such
 as appearance. In my opinion, I agree entirely that
advertisements
 make
people
 attempt to have the same look and the same other
things
.
Firstly
,
advertisements
 aiming a specific group of
people
 within a particular place in which they have the same interests and the same desire.
Therefore
,
this
 may encourage them to try to get the same product
that is
 shown in the advertisement.
In particular
, if there
this
 ad is shown to a group of young men,
this
 will create competition between them and make them win over each other—clothes and hand-watches,
for example
.
Secondly
,
advertisements
 show various
products
 that suit
everyone
, and most of the goods which are presented via the Internet are affordable, and a considerable amount of
people
 try to get these
products
.
However
, without attention, it turns out
everyone
 already has the same
things
 in their lives. Not only the self-use
products
 but
also
 the house-use
products
such
 as kitchen needs like spoons, plates, blenders, and a few others. The final reason that has a profound impact on not having an individual personality is the
advertisements
 that target women.
That is
 to say, women naturally are the kind who have competition with their peers, especially, in the circle of relatives. Make-up items and accessories are most of the
things
 that women aim to have, and they put them on them to show off on occasions like weddings. In conclusion,
people
 must not be drawn to
advertisements
 deeply to be the version of the other, but
everyone
 has to make his own version.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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