IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many parts of the world, women study science and technology, but do not work in these fields". It is cause and solution essay

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there has been a significant growth in the number of
women
Use synonyms
 leaving STEM fields
due to
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
-life balance challenges and
gender
Use synonyms
 stereotypes.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that
this
Linking Words
 can be effectively addressed by implementing strategies
such
Linking Words
 as providing flexible working
hours
Use synonyms
 and creating inclusive
work
Use synonyms
 environments.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyze the underlying causes of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and suggest practical solutions to handle it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the main factor contributing to the
gender
Use synonyms
 gap in STEM is
work
Use synonyms
-life balance challenges.
This
Linking Words
 problem arises because
women
Use synonyms
 today are expected to manage both
work
Use synonyms
 and household responsibilities. A recent study conducted in Poland has revealed that four out of ten
women
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 eight
hours
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and during their remaining time they do chores. Another factor causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
STEM dropout among
females
Use synonyms
 is
gender
Use synonyms
 stereotypes.
Due to
Linking Words
 medieval times, the world was ruled by a patriarchal system.
For instance
Linking Words
, the leadership of the empire was traditionally inherited by sons from fathers. In spite of these difficulties,
this
Linking Words
 issue can be tackled by implementing effective strategies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government should provide flexible working
hours
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can set up a shift worker method.
In other words
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 are allowed to
work
Use synonyms
 two days in a row, followed by two days of respite.
This
Linking Words
 method will definitely help
females
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in their professions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the government should create inclusive
work
Use synonyms
 environments by providing food or hiring
maid servants
Correct your spelling
maidservants
show examples
. A notable example of
this
Linking Words
 is the astrology science cosmodrome “Baikonur” which supplies
females
Use synonyms
 with their necessities. In conclusion, the rise of workless
females
Use synonyms
 is largely driven by
work
Use synonyms
-life balance challenges and
gender
Use synonyms
 stereotypes.
However
Linking Words
, these issues can be effectively mitigated through flexible working
hours
Use synonyms
 and creating inclusive
work
Use synonyms
 environments.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on the main ideas with more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words more effectively to improve the flow of your essay and connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The identification of the causes and proposed solutions is relevant and addresses the task.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: