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Band 5

In many countries athletes earn much more money than professional like doctor, teachers or engineers.why do you think this happens and consider it is good or bad

#countries #athletes #money #doctor #teachers #engineers
There are split opinions regarding player-earned income in developed nations. some believe doctors, engineers and teachers are underpaid
whereas
 athletes represent the nation in front of other countries and earn more.
However
, both have their own pros and cons.
Therefore
 before commenting on my strong opinion, both judgments
would discuss
Wrong verb form
will be discussed
show examples
 in subsequent paragraphs. Examining the first point of view, I strongly believe that it is very good for athletes to be paid more because the only a person who represents the culture and strength in national games.
This
 is because becoming a professional
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 a lot of effort and major struggles. In ,addition other professionals like teachers and doctors have many pathways to join alternatives.
Moreover
, the reason is athletes are limited people as compared to different professions.
on the contrary
, the latter view suggests that entertainers have lucrative careers
while
 professionals
such
 as doctors and engineers are less paid. As consider
this
 as bad behaviour it should be equal from both sides.
Besides
this
 other professionals are more in numbers as compared to players who are few. In ,
fact
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 government needs to maintain the equilibrium of society.
For example
, a journey of a normal athlete to the best opponent has been researched by a dietician and doctor to give their body as best results on the field.
To conclude
 and give my impression, I would say that fortifying the pay to a player is the most ideal way to deal with
this
 situation. In the big ,picture
this
 would be equal for those who deserve the best.
Nonetheless
, other professions
also
 need to recognise and
well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
deserved
Wrong verb form
deserve
show examples
better
achievements level
Fix the agreement mistake
achievement levels
show examples
 to keep them motivated and so
on
Rephrase
apply
show examples
attracted careers.
Submitted by dadlanijeetesh97 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the main topic and the writer's position. Additionally, use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main points in each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by providing a clear opinion on whether it is good or bad for athletes to earn more than other professionals. Provide relevant examples and develop ideas more fully to demonstrate a clear and comprehensive response to the task.
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