Should schools focus more on academic subjects or extracurricular activities? Discuss your view
Imagine a school environment where
students
are encouraged to grow in both academic and personal aspects. In Use synonyms
this
ideal environment, Linking Words
students
achieve academic success Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
also
developing critical life skills. Linking Words
While
it is commonly believed that focusing solely on academic Linking Words
subjects
ensures better outcomes, there is Use synonyms
also
an opposing argument that extracurricular Linking Words
activities
play a crucial role in fostering well-rounded development. From my perspective, I strongly agree with a balanced approach that combines academics and extracurriculars. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss both perspectives and analyze the reasons supporting my opinion.
On the one hand, providing opportunities to engage in a variety of Linking Words
activities
helps individuals build essential skills. Participating in different tasks not only strengthens mental well-being but Use synonyms
also
enhances social and personal growth. To illustrate, if Linking Words
students
are encouraged to explore creative or collaborative pursuits, they will be given opportunities to develop leadership and problem-solving abilities. Use synonyms
For instance
, programs that integrate Linking Words
such
Linking Words
activities
have shown significant improvements in Use synonyms
overall
student performance.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, focusing exclusively on academic Linking Words
subjects
is often seen as the key to future success. Academic learning provides foundational knowledge Use synonyms
that is
crucial for higher education and career opportunities. Linking Words
Furthermore
, it prepares individuals for competitive tests and professional environments where expertise in specific Linking Words
subjects
is highly valued. Use synonyms
For example
, intensive academic programs can be a prime example of how specialization leads to tangible success.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that schools should adopt a balanced approach to education, as it fosters intellectual growth and personal development. Linking Words
This
is because academic Linking Words
subjects
provide knowledge and skills essential for future careers, Use synonyms
while
extracurricular Linking Words
activities
cultivate creativity and adaptability. Use synonyms
Although
it is often argued that focusing solely on academics yields better results, Linking Words
this
perspective fails to acknowledge the importance of a holistic approach in preparing Linking Words
students
for real-world challenges.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument with a well-balanced view on the topic. However, consider providing a more extensive range of examples to enhance your explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Although your essay is well-structured, transitions between some ideas can be smoother to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is well-crafted, setting up the discussion and clearly stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reasserts your opinion, offering a strong end to the essay.
task achievement
You have effectively compared both sides of the argument, showing consideration for different perspectives.
task achievement
Supporting examples, such as the benefits of creative and collaborative pursuits, are well-integrated into your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example