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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but people believe there are other external factors that influence us . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence
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Some people argue that pleasure is based on individuals' responsibility.
While
 I accept that
this
 perception is somewhat justifiable, I believe that new factors impact pleasure on more considerations rather than responsibility alone. On the one hand, the personal role influence to happiness because of several driving circumstances.
Firstly
, gladness is a kind of emotional status that originate from a person's brain when humans carry out any actions and get results as their expectation.
In addition
, the person's brain is a centre to control all emotions based on their desire.
For example
, the students who are trying to study IELTS skills as much as possible,
as a result
, really feel happy if they receive the band score they aimed for.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that various factors apart from personalities
such
 as family, money and love can play a crucial role in individual pleasure. It is frequently argued that no one can reach true joy if they just break a heart in love, financial burden in life or have particular serious family problems.
Furthermore
, emotion in their mind is divided into various shades
such
 as hurt, anger or boredom
instead
 of joyfulness.
Consequently
, the best solution is balance to individual control and alternative elements which affect joyful needs. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that personal control is a component that has a decisive role to play in creating contentment, I would contend that it is imperative that new aspects be taken into consideration prior to making a satisfactory decision to themselves.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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