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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think restoration of old buildings take huge amount of government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to use this money for development of new buildings and roads. To what extent do you agree/disagree with the statement

#people #restoration #buildings #amount #government #expenditure #money #development #roads
In the contemporary era, heritage construction is the identity of any nation’s pride and respect globally. Some individuals believe that repair and maintenance of
such
 old buildings are a waste of
money
instead
 use that currency to build new infrastructures. I strongly agree with
this
 notion and will discuss why I agree.
Firstly
,
due to
 the changing trends all over the world, people are becoming more aware of tax
money
 to invest in the right infrastructure. They think if cash is used for fixing the old buildings, which is never the end process
instead
 the authorities should build new technologies energy efficient constructions, which will be safe from earthquakes and other disasters.
For example
, in The Red Fort of India, the state is spending lots of
money
 to look after it. Even does not even benefit the nation and 100 of the staff are working, which is a waste of taxpayers’
money
.
Secondly
, the Governments should build new roads with the latest technology to improve traffic management, which takes less time to reach their destination. It will be convenient for both businesses and personnel. People can travel long distances and do their businesses and jobs; there will be less pressure on the city’s infrastructure for pollution and population because the commuters can live in rural areas and work in the cities.
For instance
, it has been proved in the United Kingdom of America, where vehicles and people are moving daily between Canada and the United Kingdom of America In conclusion, I believe that heritage erections are the identity of the nation’s pride
however
 progress of any motherland depends on how wealthy is their kingdom, which can provide all amenities to the society.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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introduction
Ensure you have a clear and structured introduction that sets the context and clearly states your opinion or stance on the matter.
cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overuse or misuse.
cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by specific details or examples.
task response
Fully develop your argument by explaining how and why you hold your opinion, expand on your examples to clearly illustrate your points.
conclusion
Conclude your essay effectively by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion in a clear way.
examples
Ensure that the examples you use are relevant and specific to the point you are trying to make.
language
Work on grammar and vocabulary to accurately express your ideas and to maintain a formal tone throughout the essay.
balanced discussion
Provide a balanced view if the question requires a discussion of both sides, even if you are arguing strongly for one point of view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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