Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#religion #schools

Introduction - Schools play a crucial role in

children

's lives. A larger number of

people

believe that school

cirrculum

Correct your spelling

curriculum

must include

religion

as a subject,

however

, others do not support

this

belief. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and support the former view with examples. On the one hand,

people

who oppose

this

notion tend to believe it could be confusing for kids to grasp

this

information.

This

is because there are a number of traditions followed by

people

in different religions. To elaborate, Hindus usually wear white colour outfits at someone's funeral,

conversely

, wedding couples in Christians wear the same colour during their wedding.

Furthermore

, it could be utterly hard for the teachers to justify these beliefs.

On the other hand

, spreading awareness about the

religion

at an early age is important.

Children

would daily learn about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various cultures.

For instance

, Christian

people

visit Church usually

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Sunday mornings where

priest

Add an article

the priest

a priest

show examples

would read lines from the Bible and make them understand the meaning.

In addition

this

, inculcating religious values would probably enhance anyone's

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

. I strongly agree with

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

idea of adding

religion

as a subject in schools.

Change the article

show examples

healthy interaction about various beliefs

such

existence

Add an article

the existence

show examples

of God and how to connect with him would be beneficial.

For example

, teaching

adolscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

to pray before eating would make them understand the importance of food

as well as

why is it necessary to thank God.

Moreover

children

usually tend to follow teacher's guidelines,

hence

, it could be a great impact on

children

's intellect. Conclusion - In conclusion,

although

first

Add a comma

,first

show examples

it could be not easy to make them understand the differences between various religions, still, I would support the idea of teaching

religion

in schools.

Submitted by anjalipatel2705 on Sat May 13 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

religious education
multi-faith society
values and ethics
tolerance
diversity
religious freedom
secular education
curriculum
worldviews
interfaith dialogue
religious literacy
moral guidance
cultural understanding
critical thinking
respect
indoctrination
religious beliefs
secular state
religious extremism
academic subject

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Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs.

Many University graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profesion. What factor may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion should be done about it?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this . You should write at least 250 words.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?