Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware what this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development #outweight

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

day and age, it is inevitable that technological advancements play a significant role in our lifestyle.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the number of monitored

people

Use synonyms

's behaviours

rise

Correct subject-verb agreement

rises

show examples

dramatically through cellphones and security cameras.

Whereas

Linking Words

some

individuals

Add a verb

areindividuals

wereindividuals

show examples

rarely aware of

this

Linking Words

tracking process. My reason why these innovations can contribute to disadvantages to our society will be elaborated in

this

Linking Words

essay.

To begin

Linking Words

with, some opponents believe that

people

Use synonyms

being monitored by technologies can bring about positive outcomes. Take a business industry

for example

Linking Words

; tracking customer behaviour daily can lead to a great data analysis process for their marketing' s strategies, and they can earn more profits from these systems.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, private data should not be exposed to the public without permission and

people

Use synonyms

have the right to keep their personal routines private. Seeing that

people

Use synonyms

nowadays facing

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

privacy problems and

this

Linking Words

can bring about pessimistic consequences.

For example

Linking Words

, the personal phone numbers that had been given to the company are

also

Linking Words

being shared with multiple start-up or scammer companies. Simply explain, oversharing personal data to the public causes less privacy for individuals.

Moreover

Linking Words

, our society barely reaps

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

from it. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

it is undeniable that technology impacts our society as a whole but some

people

Use synonyms

should not overlook the drawbacks of it. I am of the opinion that monitoring

people

Use synonyms

can lead to detrimental results.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the government should consider

this

Linking Words

issue seriously to contribute the better communities in the future.

Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on Sat May 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Although grievous offences are reducing, some people feel more insecure than they used to. The main reason behind this is the increase of cyber bullying and hate-crimes, and the solution would be to raise the general awareness among the masses and by promulgating new laws.
6.5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In many developing countries nowadays, the numbers illustrate the tendency of moving to urban so populations are declining in many countryside. That leads to more consequences than positives.
7.5
band
Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development,however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is universally accepted that improving standards of dwelling through economic development has become a national demand. Therefore, some argue that social value will be lost. From my point of view, I believe that the advantages of this action outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will examine two aspects and outline supporting reasons throughout the following paragraphs.
<4
band
In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?
in many countries, majority of people chose to rent a house rather than to buy their houses. in this esay will discuss what the benefit and unbenefit of renting a home.
4
band
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
There are some ongoing debate of whether investment in arts, including music and theatre constitutes as a wasteful

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development,however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?