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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware what this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development #outweight
In
this
 day and age, it is inevitable that technological advancements play a significant role in our lifestyle.
Moreover
, the number of monitored
people
's behaviours
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 dramatically through cellphones and security cameras.
Whereas
 some
individuals
Add a verb
areindividuals
wereindividuals
show examples
 rarely aware of
this
 tracking process. My reason why these innovations can contribute to disadvantages to our society will be elaborated in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, some opponents believe that
people
 being monitored by technologies can bring about positive outcomes. Take a business industry
for example
; tracking customer behaviour daily can lead to a great data analysis process for their marketing' s strategies, and they can earn more profits from these systems.
On the other hand
, private data should not be exposed to the public without permission and
people
 have the right to keep their personal routines private. Seeing that
people
 nowadays facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
privacy problems and
this
 can bring about pessimistic consequences.
For example
, the personal phone numbers that had been given to the company are
also
 being shared with multiple start-up or scammer companies. Simply explain, oversharing personal data to the public causes less privacy for individuals.
Moreover
, our society barely reaps
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 from it. In conclusion,
although
 it is undeniable that technology impacts our society as a whole but some
people
 should not overlook the drawbacks of it. I am of the opinion that monitoring
people
 can lead to detrimental results.
Additionally
, the government should consider
this
 issue seriously to contribute the better communities in the future.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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