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Band 5.5

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

#person #company #believe #money #reason
Although
 there is more than one cause that may motivate someone to
work
 for the same corporate, some
people
 say that salary is the prominent reason.
However
, I agree that
money
 is the most important cause to keep working for the same place for a long time. Some argue that
money
 is not crucial in any job.
This
 is because they believe that experience is more valuable than
money
 and the
money
 will come later if the person works hard and keep going. In my ,opinion
this
 is not clear and it may not happen in all cases.
For example
, my father worked for 15 years for the same corporate and he had not had any
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in his salary
although
 he was working hard and he works for 15 hours per day.
As a result
, we can not depend on
this
 claim because it is not happening always. I believe that most
people
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 for
money
 not as they say in many different places on social media or in real life. They always say that we
work
 because we love want we do but if we do not give them any
money
, they will not
work
. It is not a true and not an accurate concept we can accept. Many
people
 around the world travel abroad to have the life they want.They abandoned their families and friends for the main source of happiness '
money
'. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that there are many other considerable purposes for working
such
 as gaining experience, I personally agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
 is the most popular reason for most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workers that motivates them to
work
 hard.
Submitted by thamer13456 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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