IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

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Although
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 there is more than one cause that may motivate someone to
work
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 for the same corporate, some
people
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 say that salary is the prominent reason.
However
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, I agree that
money
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 is the most important cause to keep working for the same place for a long time. Some argue that
money
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 is not crucial in any job.
This
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 is because they believe that experience is more valuable than
money
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 and the
money
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 will come later if the person works hard and keep going. In my ,opinion
this
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 is not clear and it may not happen in all cases.
For example
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, my father worked for 15 years for the same corporate and he had not had any
increasing
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increase
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 in his salary
although
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 he was working hard and he works for 15 hours per day.
As a result
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, we can not depend on
this
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 claim because it is not happening always. I believe that most
people
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working
Wrong verb form
work
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 for
money
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 not as they say in many different places on social media or in real life. They always say that we
work
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 because we love want we do but if we do not give them any
money
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, they will not
work
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. It is not a true and not an accurate concept we can accept. Many
people
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 around the world travel abroad to have the life they want.They abandoned their families and friends for the main source of happiness '
money
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'. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that there are many other considerable purposes for working
such
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 as gaining experience, I personally agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
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 is the most popular reason for most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workers that motivates them to
work
Use synonyms
 hard.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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