Some believe that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today's fast-paced world, whether creating a new
language
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for global interaction or not has persistently been a subject of dispute among people.
However
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, I strongly believe that the advantages of using a new international
language
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do outweigh its demerits. There are many reasons why inventing a new
language
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can not be accepted by the majority of the population.
Firstly
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, more money from the budget of the country is allocated by the government for
this
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purpose
as well
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as
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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it can lead to an obvious problem. Namely, communities can prefer to allocate more money to other fields like education and health rather than inventing a new
language
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. And
then
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, some people especially senior citizens can be reluctant to learn a new
language
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.
It is clear that
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already school children have a
heavy
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of

It seems that heavy may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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trouble with many lessons and it is no secret that if a new
language
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adds
Wrong verb form
is added to

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb adds. Consider changing it.

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their syllabus, they face many
problems
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during their studies. In spite of the disadvantages of
this
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given above, several reasons could be mentioned why some want a new
language
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which
uses
Wrong verb form
is used

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb uses. Consider changing it.

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all over the world. First of all, some think that by inventing a new international
language
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, we can solve all
problems
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all over the world.
This
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means that businessmen or leaders of countries can communicate without translators to other leaders and they can solve
problems
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with each other by protecting privacy in the same
language
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.
Secondly
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, they believe that students can take a chance to study at universities in other countries they want.
Therefore
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, these students will get more information about other countries' education and
also
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cultures, and holidays. In conclusion, creating a new
language
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can cause some obvious drawbacks,
such
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as wasting money and facing many
problems
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during
Change preposition
while

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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learning a new
language
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, but I believe that owning a new
language
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is the best choice and the benefits that it brings about can outshine its drawbacks.

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task response
Provide more relevant examples and expand on supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear link between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international communication
  • cultural richness
  • linguistic heritage
  • cognitive benefits
  • global collaboration
  • efficiency
  • educational resources
  • cultural homogenization
  • multilingualism
  • resistance to change
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