IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
It is often thought that the perfect way to deter
crime
 is to give more extended imprisonment,
whereas
 others claim there are other alternatives to reduce the
crime
 rate. In my opinion, I consider that providing a longer
prison
 sentence is undoubtedly a great deterrent, but there are
also
 other measures that can be taken into consideration. On the one hand,
according to
 some, when lawbreakers are kept in prisons for a long time, it will help the government to lessen the
crime
 rate.
This
 is because a lengthy punishment illustrates that the offence is wrong, and
as a result
, societies will not simply perpetrate any form of misdeed. In Malaysia,
for instance
, individuals who commit major
crimes
,
such
 as assault and fraud, can sometimes be sentenced to 10 years in
prison
 which eventually has helped reduce the mentioned
crimes
.
On the other hand
, some people think that there are other measures practical ways. One way is that should be rehabilitated
instead
 of being in
prison
 for a long time. Criminals who are rehabilitated will not
reoffend
Correct your spelling
re-offend
.
Moreover
,
this
 will help them to reenter society easily.
Finally
, in my view, a longer
prison
 sentence is, in fact, one of the best punishments because criminals are locked away, and society is effectively protected.
This
also
 shows that
crime
 is not tolerated, and people will face the consequences of their actions.
Nevertheless
, in some cases, other options can be considered,
for example
, community service, especially when the criminals are still minors.
To sum up
,
while
 people may vary in their opinions, I think that putting offenders in jail for a long time is an effective way to reduce
crime
, but it is not suitable for all
crimes
, especially for
crimes
 involving teenagers. If the government implemented punishments with the aim of rehabilitating offenders, the
crime
 rate would certainly drop.
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: