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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
#land #three #regions #world
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The pie chart illustrates the main reasons why agricultural
land
Use synonyms
 becomes less productive. The table describes how these causes affected three regions of
world
Add an article
the world
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 during the 1990s
Overall
Linking Words
, overgrazing in Oceania is the biggest
reason
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 less productive agricultural lands It is clear from the pie chart that the first
reason
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 degradation is over - cultivation is the
case
Use synonyms
 with the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
 just over a quarter except
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
 minor cases with a tiny fraction.
Then
Linking Words
Second
Correct article usage
the Second
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
 is deforestation is quite a higher
percentage
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, exactly a
third,
Linking Words
that is
Linking Words
 two
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 more than in the
case
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 above. Now turning to the
last
Linking Words
 mentioned
reason
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 is
over - grazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
, the
case
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 with the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 than any other reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 degradation,
this
Linking Words
case
Use synonyms
 is five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 more than deforestation
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and is seven
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 more than
over - culturing
Correct your spelling
over-culturing
show examples
.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
case
Use synonyms
 and with the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 is the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 minor cases that
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 mentioned in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
show examples
 chart As can be seen from the table, Europe is rated with the highest
percentage
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 of degraded agricultural
land
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. And Europe
also
Linking Words
 had the highest number of deforestation than any other region
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, reason, case, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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