IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#believe #people #interest #culture #country #region #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 contemporary era, there are contrasting viewpoints where one section believes that there is no point in the traditional culture of their region and the others are of the mindset that it is crucial to maintain the traditional
way
 of life.
According to
 my opinion, the old
way
 of living is beneficial and we will discuss both sides in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence, some
individuals
 believe that preserving traditions is a waste of time because of modern ways that are coming into existence. To explicate,
due to
 globalization
people
 are shifting their lifestyles and accepting
westernize
Wrong verb form
westernised
show examples
 thinking.
Moreover
,
people
 are adopting new cultures and norms which revolutionize their ways of perceiving things.
For example
, youth is getting influenced by pop music and modern attire which are considered to be unconventional and fashionable.
Thus
, the above example vividly illustrates why
individuals
 are disinterested in preserving their own cultural background. On the flip side, other
people
 are of the notion that maintaining the conventional
way
 is integral because it helps to create an identity. To elaborate, the traditional
way
 of living shapes a community as a whole and it is
also
 a
way
 to connect the present generation to their roots.
Furthermore
, it
also
 helps
individuals
 to stay humble and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them a sense of satisfaction that the values passed by their ancestors are still alive.
For example
, many businesses in India, have a picture of their respective gods in their offices which reflects their values.
Hence
, the aforementioned reason substantiates why cultural thinking should be preserved. To recapitulate,
individuals
 are not interested in preserving the traditional
way
 of living
due to
 the modernization of lifestyles in various parts of the world.
On the contrary
, others argue that it is crucial to maintain our conventional ways which would help our future generations stay connected and recognize them as a community. In my opinion, culture is a major part of any society which needs to be protected as it helps to create an identity and make
people
 stay humble.
Submitted by sanchidhupar96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are presented in a clear and organized manner, following a logical structure throughout the essay.
task response
Make sure to fully address all parts of the essay question, providing comprehensive ideas and supporting them with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: