Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In these

Change preposition

These

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days, some

people

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argue that buying more and more consumer goods is beneficial for the economy.

While

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other

people

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discuss that

this

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phenomenon brings many drawbacks for

society

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, I personally believe that it will damage

society

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. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why consuming many products is good for the economy.

Firstly

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, it provides more job opportunities for local

people

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, as buyers spend a large amount of money on shopping.

This

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would lead to making more profits for factories and expanding their business.

As a result

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, companies will need more human resources, which not only reduces unemployment rates but

also

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make significant contributions to their country's economic growth.

Secondly

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, when companies make more money, governments can have more tax revenues.

This

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would solve economic issues ,especially rising inflation and poverty alleviation.

On the other hand

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, I believe that

this

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development is detrimental to

society

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. The first reason is that if

people

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are encouraged to buy things that they do not really need, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

struggle financially because of their bad spending habits. When financial pressure is too great, they are more likely to suffer from various mental health problems

such

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as depression, and anxiety disorders. These

people

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might be a burden to their families and even their

society

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. The second one is that

this

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development

cause

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causes

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environmental damage, as more facilities and factories are built to serve more shopping needs.

This

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can have an adverse impact on surrounding residential areas

due to

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the carbon dioxide emissions from industry.

For example

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, China is very successful in economic growth when they

convinced

Wrong verb form

convince

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their citizens to buy a lot of consumer products,

however

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, the air quality in China is alarming because of many factories, which make

people

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suffer from respiratory illnesses. In conclusion,

although

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it is beneficial for the economy when the government encourage spending,

this

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idea brings many disadvantages for

society

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, especially health and the environment

lamminhkhoi2312Wed May 17 2023

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language

Make sure to maintain consistent verb tense throughout the essay. For instance, 'In these days' should be 'Nowadays'.

structure

When presenting your opinion, it's beneficial to clearly state it in the introduction. Consider saying something like, 'In my opinion, while this approach boosts the economy, it can harm social well-being.'

content

You might want to add a few more specific examples or statistics to support your claims about economic benefits and societal drawbacks. This will enhance your argument's credibility.

content

You effectively presented both views on the topic, which shows a good understanding of the question.

content

Your points about job opportunities and government tax revenue were strong and well-supported.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

With the recent improvement to the internet, people can leave views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is it a good or bad thing. Discuss both views.