IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some countries invest in specialized sports facilities for top athletes but not for the average people. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #sports #facilities #athletes #people #development
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It is true that some countries support professional
athletes
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 by investing in dedicated
sports
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facilities
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such
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 as gymnasiums,
fitness
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 diagnostics centres and training camps, though
this
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 privilege does not extend to everyday people. In my mind,
this
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 development is generally desirable, though ,ideally,everyone should receive equal attention on matters of
fitness
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 and
sports
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. Admittedly, equal access to specialized
sports
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 venues can bring about some benefits. The most immediate benefit is to
overall
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 public
health
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. Once people are given access to professional gymnasiums irrespective of their training goals – whether it would be to compete or for its own sake – they are more driven to do exercise.
This
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 is followed by gains in their personal
health
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. Having cultivated a culture of
fitness
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 and
health
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this
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 way, a country will see the general
health
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 levels of its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 rise. The creation of
sports
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 halls for public use would
also
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 ensure equality of opportunity.
That is
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, the government can level the playing field by giving everyone an equal chance to train and discover their athletic potential.
This
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 way, people’s athletic talents will not go untapped. I,
however
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, would argue that governments should continue investing in specialized
sports
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facilities
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 for competitive
athletes
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.
This
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 is because
athletes
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 stand better a chance of winning when they can train at a dedicated training venue as their training is made efficient with the help of special equipment
such
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 as treadmills and workout machines. Efficiency in training gives
athletes
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 an edge over their opponents, enabling them to win. Winning in world tournaments, in turn, will bring a country world recognition.
Besides
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, specialized training
facilities
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 might have limited uses for the common man. Given the fact that one can reach a reasonable level of
fitness
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 without special equipment, everyday people can do bodyweight workouts or use free outdoor
facilities
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 to improve their physical condition. In
this
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 sense, it might be a waste of resources to subsidize
sports
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facilities
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 for the public. In conclusion, the fact that some countries prioritize investment for their top
athletes
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 over that for average citizens is, in my mind, a change for the better since it bolsters their reputation in terms of
sports
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as well as
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 helps them avoid unnecessary spending.
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task response
To improve task response, ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed directly. Consider discussing both the positive and negative aspects of investing in specialized sports facilities for top athletes exclusively.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, strengthen the transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. Additionally, make sure that each paragraph is focused on a single main point related to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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