In many developing nations, the rush to become industrialized has created major problems with air and water quality. What are the problems that this has brought about and offer some solutions to these problems?

Modernization has taken place in huge countries which causes humanity to rush some processes and resulting in
problems
with
air
and water
quality
.
Hence
, in
this
essay, I will discuss the
problems
and the solutions in
this
case. Nowadays, developing nations
such
as Indonesia, are trying to develop new
factories
to improve their product
quality
management and increase the economic growth of the country.
Consequently
,
this
process causes
air
pollution as most
factories
produce excess smoke which combined with public transport smoke may result in low
air
quality
and damage the earth's atmosphere.
Furthermore
, some factory waste is thrown into ocean areas and lakes.
As a result
, the
quality
of water is now mixed with waste products from
factories
and may even cause damage to the ocean ecosystem or even worse death to ocean animals.
Therefore
, the
government
should issue some rules and instructions for
factories
to avoid using dangerous chemicals which may harm the
air
quality
and to restrict everyday usage of the factory.
Thus
,
factories
can only run on weekdays to reduce smoke production.
In addition
, the
government
must make charges for big companies or industries that throw their waste products into lakes or oceans.
Lastly
, the people of Indonesia should
also
have some awareness and support the
government
's program by not littering trash anywhere.
Moreover
, it is better to create a community service program to gather people to clean and collect trash in lakes to reduce water pollution.
To conclude
, the solutions to these
problems
must mainly be executed by the
government
.
Hence
,
problems
like
this
would not occur if there were proper and structured rules and instructions.
Submitted by kelly on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points, particularly in discussing how government policies can be implemented and their potential impacts.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow. For example, using linking words or phrases can help enhance the coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main issue and summarizing proposed solutions.
task achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and contribute to a cohesive argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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