IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
Before college, many young people are advised that a
year
 of working or travelling may be a good option.
This
 essay
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
 that experience gained and money saved are the biggest advantages of
this
, but delaying careers and reducing motivation to study are the primary disadvantages. The main advantages of a gap
year
 are learning more about the world and earning money. For
students
 who have just finished secondary school, working or travelling for a
year
 will allow them to learn what life is like outside of the
education
 system.
Also
, third-level
education
 is very expensive, and many
students
 decide to work for 12 months and save money before they begin their studies. The average student at a UK university requires over £10, 000 per annum to survive, and many drop out because they cannot afford to stay. Despite these advantages,
students
 lose a
year
 that could have been used to advance their future careers, and they often get used to working or travelling and don’t want to return to a life of study. As job markets are very competitive, an extra
year
 of experience can make a massive difference when applying for jobs, and those who took a gap
year
 are at a disadvantage.
Moreover
, some decide to bypass university altogether and go straight into a job
that is
 beneath their capabilities or may not offer the same prospects their future career might have.
For instance
, jobs in the service industry are easy to get without a third-level
education
, and many gap
students
 fill these roles only to be stuck in them for the rest of their lives. In conclusion, taking a break from studies can be advantageous if it allows people to accumulate savings or learn more about the world.
However
, they should
also
 be careful that it does not delay the start of their careers and lead to disillusionment with
education
.
Submitted by ksvid49 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: