Some people believe that technological advancements lead to the loss of traditional cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that technological advancements have brought about significant changes to various aspects of our lives.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that these advancements lead to the loss of traditional
cultures
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, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
technology
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can indeed impact traditional
cultures
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, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to their complete loss.
To begin
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with, it is evident that
technology
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has altered the way people communicate and interact within their communities.
In other words
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, the rise of social media and instant messaging has made it easier for individuals to connect with others around the world, but
this
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may come at the expense of face-to-face interactions that are vital for preserving cultural practices.
In addition
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, technological progress has made traditional knowledge more accessible to a global audience, which can help in the preservation of various cultural elements.
For example
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, online platforms allow indigenous communities to share their traditions, languages, and rituals with a broader audience, ensuring that these cultural aspects remain alive. Another point to consider is the impact of
technology
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on cultural practices and art forms. It is
also
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possible to say that
technology
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provides new ways for artistic expression and cultural preservation.
Moreover
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, digital platforms enable artists from different
cultures
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to collaborate and showcase their work to a wider audience, thereby enhancing cultural diversity.
For instance
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, musicians can fuse traditional melodies with modern beats, creating a unique blend that captures the essence of both worlds. In conclusion, technological advancements influence traditional
cultures
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, but they do not necessarily lead to their complete loss.
While
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some aspects of cultural practices may evolve,
technology
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also
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provides opportunities for preservation and innovation. By embracing
technology
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in a balanced way, societies can ensure the survival of their cultural heritage
while
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adapting to the modern world.
Submitted by dr.osamabhb on

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task achievement
You have provided a strong response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument. However, consider adding more specific examples to further strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Although your logical structure is strong, consider making transitions between paragraphs even smoother for an enhanced flow.
introduction and conclusion
The essay has a well-organized introduction and conclusion that clearly articulate your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You successfully balanced acknowledging both sides of the argument and provided a nuanced opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay features well-supported main points that are logically organized and easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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