IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In their advertising ,business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way。Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#business #products #way。why #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is becoming increasingly common that companies propaganda their goods have something new in their advertising 。
This
Linking Words
 essay will look at the reason behind
this
Linking Words
 development and explain why I think its disadvantages outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,the main reason why businesses prefer showing their new parts
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 production is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they can attract the attention of customers especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 often interested in new things.
Therefore
Linking Words
，sales will rise.
For instance
Linking Words
 , when buying soft drinks, the public may be attracted to cola without sugar because it is new and they want to try what it tasted like. The secondary factor we need to take into consideration is that Some companies are very confident about their recent innovations. They believe
this
Linking Words
 is the most important advantage
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 product and believe that it is special. The main consequences of
this
Linking Words
 trend have been sometimes negative. It is obvious that the new things some advertisements propaganda about may actually be unimportant or even fake, which will damage the benefits of customers. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,Some snacks will advertise that there is no sugar in their products but there is still a sweet taste to attract
people
Use synonyms
 who want to lose weight to buy, but in fact, they just change the kind of sugar, which
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 only does not have the effect of losing weight
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but may even make
people
Use synonyms
 more obesity .
In addition
Linking Words
，excessive advertisements
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 new things will make
people
Use synonyms
 want to buy more, after they buy these and find that it is useless, they may throw it which causes harm to the environment and
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of money. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 kind of advertising of the company promotes their new invention to make more money, but the information
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these advertisements is sometimes untrue, which will harm the customers’ benefits, so
this
Linking Words
 is not a good development.
Submitted by 457934770 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: