IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think that it is a waste of valuable money? What is your opinion?

#people #money #species #waste
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Environmentalists have long advocated fighting to protect endangered
animals
Use synonyms
 globally. It is argued by Some that authorities should pay more for endangered species to confirm their existence,
while
Linking Words
 others believe it is an extravagance.
Although
Linking Words
 protecting the
animals
Use synonyms
 under threat is essential, the government should spend more to improve the basic standards of human beings. My subsequent crumb of writing will elucidate my viewpoints with relevant examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the protection of human life is more vital than the security of
animals
Use synonyms
. The majority of the community living in developing and undeveloped countries are struggling for food, clothes and shelter to satisfy their basic needs. Without consolidating the hunger of the poor people, there is no ethics in saving the
animals
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Kerala state had spent more on protecting an elephant which was a nuisance to the public;
instead
Linking Words
, they should have organised a new accommodation for the sufferers would have been cost-effective.
Hence
Linking Words
, to confirm the safety of human beings state should spend more on them rather than on
animals
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, even if the ministry pays a lot for endangered species, we can not guarantee their survival. If an investment is futile, it is a punishable crime that must be questioned by the court.
For example
Linking Words
, Australia had spent a lot on Feral cats to protect them from extinction, and still, it is at the same point of threat
due to
Linking Words
 enormous land clearing, which caused the loss of habitat. On that account, the administration must be careful in utilising money on
animals
Use synonyms
 rather than for the advantages of human life. To summarise, it is the ruling organisation's responsibility to ensure the convenience of the community rather than the
animals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vinuachudevan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: