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Band 7.5

Some people think government should lower the expenditure on arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

#people #government #expenditure #arts #money #education
In modern society, gender equality is still
such
 a serve global problem
due to
 the fact that high-level
positions
 in many enterprises have the tendency of assigning to males even though female workers possess an equal level of capability.
Therefore
, most people share the same thought that women should be entrusted with directorial spots which are worthy of their ability. And I completely agree with
this
 idea for the following reasons.
Firstly
,
companies
 should respect gender equality to ensure that they don’t overlook talented individuals and secure equal opportunities by recognizing women’s aptitude and allocating suitable
positions
 including top-drawer or senior
work
. There was recent research conducted by the Vietnamese government found that more than 80% of
companies
 located in Ho Chi Minh City avoid assigning CEO
positions
 to female employees despite their contribution and hard
work
.
Secondly
, females who are in charge of high-level chairs in outstanding
companies
 usually possess some of these characteristics
such
 as sensibility, hard
work
, and an open mind. Talented female directors can not only lead
companies
 to success but they can
also
 be the pioneers to erase sexual prejudice which was created ages ago. And it is “
that is
 men’s
work
”. In Viet Nam there is a talented CEO, her name is Hannah Nguyen. She works as a beauty blogger and
also
 owns a big company Olala. She’d love to beautify when she was 10 and start to
work
 at a salon when she was 17 to have money for beauty classes. She is an ideal model for women to kept fight for their dream. In conclusion, both
companies
 and society should give credit to women’s abilities and be fair-minded in allocating
work
 and
positions
 for workers of all genders.
Also
 works should be consigned by certificate, and aptitude, not gender.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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