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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People nowadays tend to have children at older age. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage

#people #children #age #advantage
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In recent times, people are likely to give
birth
Use synonyms
 to their offspring that an older
age
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 having children at old might be detrimental to their
health
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 and various
complications
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 can arise.
However
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, it enables the guardian to be mentally prepared and financially stable .
However
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, I believe the advantage outweigh the drawbacks as
complications
Use synonyms
 can be reversed with adequate medical treatment.
However
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,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of stable income can lead to
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 upbringing
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the child. On the one hand, the drawbacks of giving
birth
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 old
age
Use synonyms
 can lead to
complications
Use synonyms
 like eclampsia which is caused
as a
Linking Words
result
Use synonyms
 of hormonal imbalances, which is common at older
age
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.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 is detrimental to
health
Use synonyms
 and
as a
Linking Words
Use synonyms
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it can lead to
Caesarian
Correct article usage
a Caesarian
show examples
 section.
For instance
Linking Words
, A woman at 40 tends to give
birth
Use synonyms
 to multiple babies and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long run,
Caesarian
Add an article
the Caesarian
a Caesarian
show examples
 section was done and her chances of survival will be low
due to
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 bleeding after
birth
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
,
given
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
 in old
age
Use synonyms
 is detrimental to
health
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the benefit of giving
birth
Use synonyms
 at older
age
Use synonyms
 include mental preparedness and financial stability.
That is
Linking Words
 , the individual parent will be fully aware of what to face and how to deal with those challenges and
as well as
Linking Words
 money to cater for them will be readily available.
For instance
Linking Words
, 85% of Nigerians that gave
birth
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 old
age
Use synonyms
 give their children sound education and provision
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all their needs and wants at appropriate
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, giving
birth
Use synonyms
 at older
age
Use synonyms
 enhance quality lifestyles. In conclusion, giving
birth
Use synonyms
 to offspring that old
age
Use synonyms
 can be detrimental to
health
Use synonyms
as a
Linking Words
result
Use synonyms
 of
complications
Use synonyms
 at might occur and can
also
Linking Words
 enhance quality ways of life as a
result
Use synonyms
adequate
Change preposition
of adequate
show examples
 financial income.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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