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Band 7

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#fathers #home #care #children #mothers #work #development
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Nowadays, the number of dads who are responsible for taking
care
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 of their
children
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 at
home
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 is increasing.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the percentage of moms who are breadwinners is inclining. In my point of view, it could be a negative development. In the past, men were preferred and prioritized in employment, and they had more chances to get well-paid jobs rather than
women
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. That’s why, they were responsible for their families’ living costs
while
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 their spouses stayed at
home
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 and looked after their offspring.
However
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, nowadays, the awareness of gender equality is increasing. There is no gender discrimination in almost every job and every skilful person can get a job regardless of their gender.
For example
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, there are qualified
women
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 whose earnings are higher than their spouses, and they become breadwinners of their families
whereas
Linking Words
 their husbands stay at
home
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 with their
babies
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 and look after them.
In addition
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, more and more
women
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 become smarter and prefer to be businesswomen rather than staying at
home
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 and doing chores. These are the reasons for
women
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 becoming income producers.
On the other hand
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, a lot of reasons can be found why mothers should take
care
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 of their
children
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.
Firstly
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, there is no one in the world who understands
children
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 as their mothers because they lived in the womb of their moms for 9 months. They are not even scared to deliver the
babies
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although
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 it can have negative impacts on their beauty and health.
Therefore
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 it is claimed that maternal
care
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 is really crucial for
babies
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 since they are people who love their
babies
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 more than themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
, generally, even though dads love their offspring, moms are more patient to teach and explain them.
Besides
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, mommies are better at cooking and doing chores for
children
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. That’s why
children
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 should be taken
care
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 of by their mummies and fathers should be breadwinners. In conclusion,
although
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 everyone has the right to choose whatever they want to do in their lives, I would argue that mothers are the best guardians for their
babies
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.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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