IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Some
argues
Change the verb form
argue
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 that people with certain occupations, like doctors and engineers, must have their career in the same country where they studied.
While
Linking Words
 others argue that graduates should be given more choices to work anywhere they want. I agree with the former idea as it allows professionals to adapt more easily
on
Change preposition
to
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 certain competencies and challenges. Those who start their professional career in the same region often find it easier
in applying
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to apply
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knowledge
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the knowledge
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 they gained in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school since universities often establish a specific curriculum which may be different across nations. They
also
Linking Words
 teach students
on
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about
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 more relevant issues so they can better address challenges in
local-appropriate
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an appropriate
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 approach in real life.
For example
Linking Words
, medical students in Southeast Asia often find dengue fever as a common disease in the region. Meanwhile, those in Europe often face patients with vitamin D deficiencies.
In addition
Linking Words
, engineering students in Japan are trained to build earthquake-resilient buildings, contrasting with those studying in the tsunami-prone regions. These clearly show that local
trainings
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training
pieces of training
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 can effectively address local-specific needs.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other side, graduates tend to come back to their home country after studying abroad or
encouraged
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are encouraged
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 to move as
diaspora
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the diaspora
a diaspora
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.
However
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, those people often face difficulties in starting their jobs as they have not familiarized themselves with country-specific contexts and
often
Add a missing verb
are often
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 required to take extra tests.
For instance
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, Indonesia obligates some foreign university graduate, specifically from
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
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 and engineering fields, to pass local exams before they can practice their career.
Such
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process
Correct article usage
a process
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 can cause
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
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 and delays.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe staying in the same country after
graduate
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graduation
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 is more beneficial.
This
Linking Words
 way,
ones
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one
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 can easily leverage what they studied in college as they are familiar with certain matters and address local-specific challenges.

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task achievement
Provide clearer explanations for your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in your introduction, which is a good start.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples from different regions, showing your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main idea effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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