IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

During the last fifteen years, the use of smartphones has increased dramatically, making it possible to contact others almost anywhere and at anytime.Do the advantages of smartphones outweigh the disadvantages?

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There has been a significant growth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smartphone usage in the past fifteen years, and
people
Use synonyms
 now tend to rely on their convenience.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals
also
Linking Words
 point out the numerous negative problems imposed
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our society. I think the main advantage of
smartphones
Use synonyms
 is
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 added
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our lives.
People
Use synonyms
 who lived before the invention of
smartphones
Use synonyms
 tended to experience repetitive daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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. They walked in the same streets, did the same work, and saw the identical scenery. Thanks to
smartphones
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 now can explore various types of artwork, and listen to the
lastest
Correct your spelling
latest
show examples
 releases of their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 singers, even if they are foreigners.
Additionally
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can stay updated
news
Change preposition
on news
show examples
 from
thousands
Add the preposition
ofthousands
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 miles away,
such
Linking Words
 as the war situation between
Ukarine
Correct your spelling
Ukraine
 and Russia or the
bankrupty
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
 of the American banks.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
 facilitate easy communication between individuals. Regardless of living in different countries, we can see each other through video calls or connect through social media, allowing those studying aboard or working overseas can still stay in touch with their friends and family. Despite
numerous
Correct article usage
the numerous
show examples
 advantages of
smartphones
Use synonyms
, we cannot ignore the drawbacks associated with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, flashing advertisements on Youtube
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourages
 children to
implusively
Correct your spelling
impulsively
impulsive
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
, and parents who are unable to control the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
 may simply give in to their demand.
As a result
Linking Words
, children cannot develop the ability to live without materialistic joys.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
 can
threat
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
 our mental and physical health.
Researchs
Correct your spelling
Researchers
Research
 have shown that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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heavy smartphone usage
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the risks of nearsightedness and obesity,which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one of the
culprit
Change to a plural noun
culprits
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to
Change preposition
of
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 heart disease and diabetes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, achieving to work-life balance is more challenging, as the
bossess
Correct your spelling
bosses
 and the customers can easily contact you through the cellphones.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, in my opinion, most of the drawbacks associated with
smartphones
Use synonyms
 can be
soled
Correct your spelling
solved
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, we can switch to the "do not disrupt" mode after work.
However
Linking Words
, the benefits of
smartphones
Use synonyms
 are difficult to replace.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I still believe it is a valuable tool in our society.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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