IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The charts given illustrate the percentage of changing ownership of electrical appliances and the number of
hours
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on doing
housework
Use synonyms
 in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the changing of household machines saw
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 increment during the specific period of time and
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 had the greatest growth.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 showed
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
 over the years. First of all, in 1920, the ownership of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 was almost zero
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it surpassed the vacuum cleaner at 55% in 1940,
while
Linking Words
 the washing machine rose slightly from 40% to 60%. Turning to 1960, vacuum cleaners and washing machines had
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 percentage, which was at 70%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, almost 90% of households had
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 still increased after entering 1980 and reached its peak at 100%
along with
Linking Words
 vacuum cleaners in 2000 and remained constant by 2019.
In addition
Linking Words
, washing machines increased to about 65% by 2019, with a small dip in 1980
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 1920, it took 50
hours
Use synonyms
 for doing
housework
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning. Meanwhile, the
hours
Use synonyms
 of spending on doing
housework
Use synonyms
 weekly decreased gradually since 1940 to its lowest at 10% in 2019.
Submitted by farel2300 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, housework with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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