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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.

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With the increase of technology in developing countries, the issue of poor eating habits has become a controversial topic in
this
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 century.
Hence
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, some
people
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 believe that selecting suitable
food
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 has a significant role in our healthy life. The following essay will explore two causes and two solutions regarding
this
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 subject. First and foremost, no one can ever deny the significance of fast
food
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 nowadays. To explain more, there is a growing tendency among the
people
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 who are living in the metropolitans, who are eating more and more fast
food
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 and junk
food
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.
In addition
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,
according to
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 the latest figures released by government authorities, the rate of obesity,
in particular
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, in developing countries is sharply increasing. Which is related to the hectic lifestyle.
In other words
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, in terms of financial problems and advertisements in media, the majority of
people
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 are prone to inappropriate
food
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. From
this
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 perspective, the government authorities usually tackle the issue by making policies with penalties for advertising fast
food
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 and junk
food
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. To put it more simply, because of the modern lifestyle
and
Correct word choice
apply
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social media and lack of time, the majority of
people
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 are driven to quick meals in restaurants. Regarding possible solutions, probably the most immediate short-term solution would be a health plan diet for schools.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 attitude might lead to many types of benefits for children in society and prevent many types of diseases.
For instance
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, obesity, high blood pressure, and so on and so forth. In the meanwhile, another way to tackle the issue in the long term is, to dedicate more money to men of power to advertise the new generation of healthier
food
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 on social media. To summarize, I feel in
this
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 century, it is widely accepted that healthy
food
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 has a significant role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. To clarify more, a health plan diet can contribute to having a healthier life.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task in a clear and comprehensive manner. Include relevant examples and support for all ideas presented.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more clearly structured and connected. Work on developing a more cohesive flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • poor eating habits
  • unhealthy food
  • fast food
  • convenience
  • advertising
  • nutrition
  • financial constraints
  • emotional eating
  • peer pressure
  • hectic work schedules
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • junk food
  • processed food
  • nutrient-rich
  • obesity
  • health consequences
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