IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Marketing and promotion are the keys for a successful business. To what extent do you agree?

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In today's dynamic business environment, marketing and promotion are often perceived as critical tools for achieving commercial success,
while
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 I agree that these elements play a vital role in enhancing visibility and
consumer
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 engagement, I believe they must be balanced with other key components to ensure sustainable business growth.
To begin
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 with, effective marketing strategies can significantly influence
consumer
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 behaviour and brand recognition, first and foremost, advertising campaigns, social media promotions, and influencer collaborations have proven to be powerful methods for attracting attention in competitive markets.
For example
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, tech giants like Apple and Samsung consistently maintain their global dominance through innovative and emotionally appealing marketing tactics,
therefore
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, these approaches foster a strong long-term
consumer
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 loyalty, which directly contributes to profitability.
However
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, relying solely on promotional efforts with a focus on the quality of products or services can be detrimental, if a company’s offerings fail to meet
consumer
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 expectations, no amount of advertising can sustain customer retention,
moreover
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, product reliability, exceptional customer
servie
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service
, and innovation are essential in
maintaing
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maintaining
 a company’s reputation.
Furthermore
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, businesses that prioritize ethical practices and contribute to environmental or social causes often gain public trust and enhance their brand value, beyond what advertising alone can achieve. In conclusion,
while
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 marketing and promotion are undoubtedly crucial for generating awareness and driving sales, they can not single-handedly determine the success of a business,
therefore
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, I partly agree with the statement, emphasizing the need for a holistic approach that combines promotion with product excellence, ethical conduct, and innovation.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your claims, particularly in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between your ideas, particularly the transition between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to double-check spelling and grammar, such as 'servie' which should be 'service' and 'maintaining' instead of 'maintaining'.
task achievement
Excellent introduction that clearly states your position and sets the context for the essay.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples, like mentioning Apple and Samsung, adds credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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