IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Without capital punishment(the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crime of violence increases. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Some critics
ague
Correct your spelling
argue
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 that not having
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
a death
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sentence
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 our existence are not safe and misdeeds
enlarges
Change the verb form
enlarge
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.
Death
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 penalties
is
Change the verb form
are
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 crucial to
manage
Change the verb form
managing
show examples
 misdeed in the community. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because capital
punishment
Use synonyms
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
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 limited resources and it is irrevocable. Capital
punishment
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 squanders the time and energy of courts, prosecuting attorneys,
defense
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defence
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 counsel, juries,
Correct word choice
and courtroom
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courtroom
Fix the agreement mistake
courtrooms
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 and law enforcement personnel. It unduly burdens the criminal justice system and it is
thus
Linking Words
 counterproductive as an instrument for societal control of
violent
Replace the word
violence
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 and crimes.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is stated in the United State supreme court of the early 1970's that limited funds that could be used to prevent crimes, provide education and jobs were spent on capital
punishment
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.
Hence
Linking Words
,
death
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 penalties waste limited resources.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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,
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death
Add an article
the death
a death
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sentence
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 is crucial and unusual because it is of the earliest days of
Slavary
Correct your spelling
slavery
, and other unlawful punishments, like those barbaric practices,
executions
Correct word choice
and executions
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 have no place in a civilized society. It is
also
Linking Words
 unusual because only a random sampling of convicted murderers receive a
death
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sentence
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.
Also
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, executions
denies
Change the verb form
deny
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 due process of law as
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 imposition is irrevocable depriving an individual of the opportunity to benefit from new evidence or new laws that might warrant the reversal of a conviction or the setting aside of a
death
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sentence
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my innocent
neighbor
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neighbour
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 who was convicted
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
death
Use synonyms
 on account of the murder of his child was killed before the arrival of the evidence that he was innocent.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
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sentence
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 does not control crimes. In conclusion, in the absence of
execution
Add a comma
,execution
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 our survival is risky and
misdemeanor
Change the spelling
misdemeanour
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 grows. Execution is a determining factor to reduce misdeed in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 and I disagree since capital
punishment
Use synonyms
 waste limited resources and denies due process of law.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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