IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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It is widely acknowledged that the intake of excessive amounts of
sugar
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-based
products
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 leads to a series of physical issues,
such
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 as obesity.
Due to
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this
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 fact, some argue that the price of
sugar
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products
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 should become prohibited in order to discourage
people
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 from purchasing too much sweet food. From my perspective,
this
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 opinion is impractical.
This
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 essay aims to explain why I’m against
this
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 idea from the aspects of marketing and individual needs. Simply improving the charge of
sugar
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-related
products
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 will adversely impact essential
products
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 and eventually lower the living quality of
people
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.
This
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 is because
sugar
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 is an essential need in our life, and we can find it in diverse kinds of goods’ ingredients.
For example
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, in the kitchen, many types of cooking sources contain
sugar
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, like soy sauce, rice, and honey. If these essential sugary
products
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 become pricy,
then
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 the public may not be able to afford them.
Therefore
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,
due to
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 the vast use of
sugar
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 in our lives, it is unreasonable to higher the prices of sugary goods. Meanwhile, when sugary
products
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 become expensive, those
people
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 who need
sugar
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 to maintain their health might encounter difficulties.
For example
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, some person relies on intaking enough chocolates or candies to make sure their blood
sugar
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 is on a standard level. When they find these sweet snacks become over-priced, they may need to figure out how to afford those
products
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, which may cause extra burden on these
people
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.
In addition
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, health-related
products
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 sometimes contain
sugar
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 as well. When the price of
sugar
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 is way too high, the medical manufacturers may consider taking off the
sugar
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 from the ingredients, causing the patients difficulty swallowing or digesting those bitter taste pills.
Hence
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, based on individual needs being different,
it is clear that
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 making sugary goods more expensive will harm a group of the population.
To conclude
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, simply higher the charge for sweetness-based foods may prevent
people
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 from overly shopping for snacks, but it is
also
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 vital to acknowledge that sugary
products
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 include a vast range of goods, including our basic needs, and it may be essential for certain groups.
Submitted by zhuoga96 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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