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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some children spend hours everyday in their smartphone. why is this the case? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

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Certain young individuals put more of their hours each passing day into
this
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 new technology called smartphone,
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 tends to be a serious problem as it affects these offspring academically, socially and health-wise. I strongly believe that, in as much as it helps widen the minor's knowledge, it's a negative development.
To begin
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 with, when much concentration is rendered on the phone, it's usually cause various harm to the offspring.
Firstly
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,
this
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 type of development affects the kids school-wise because the little one will spend much
time
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 on the phone other than studying for good grades.
Also
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 when
such
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 things occur, you find out that the child's social lifestyle will deteriorate because he or she prefers to pass the
time
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 with
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 new handy technology rather than staying and spending
time
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 with friends and family.
For instance
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, in
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 modern world or recent century it is seen that children have a low communication rate with other children not only that, even with their parents and grandparents because they dedicate most of their
time
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 to unknown individuals online and
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 comedy videos.
Lastly
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,
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 new behaviour is more likely to affect the health of the child as little or no moment is allocated to playing which is one of the most essential ways in which children tend to be physically fit. When they spend much week on phones which has no means of burning down fat, they tend to become obsessed because at
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 stage they consume more food and
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 food and not been exercised out of the body. To sum it up,
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 dedication of much
time
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 and days to smartphones is more of a negative development as it will deprive the child of the educational benefits of being healthy and
also
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 diminish their social lifestyle.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Engrossed
  • Distracted
  • Addictive
  • Digital natives
  • Virtual reality
  • Interactive
  • Online gaming
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Social engagement
  • Information access
  • Learning tools
  • Peer influence
  • Societal pressure
  • Alternative activities
  • Recreational facilities
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