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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health, and that other measures are required

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Some
people
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 explain that the most effective way to improve the
overall
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 society’s
health
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 is by building
sports
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facilities
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, Others,
however
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, believe that
this
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 idea will not have the effect we are seeking on public
health
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, and other factors are involved In
this
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 matter. both views will be explained soon . On the
one
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 hand,
people
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 who believe that building
sports
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facilities
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, has a direct relation with public
health
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 say,
health
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 has a tight connection with exercise and mobility. They believe it’s a very good idea to invest
money
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 in a new
sports
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 complex because when
people
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 see them, they will be eager to try that complex and if they enjoy it
then
Linking Words
 they would do the exercise which they loved at that facility as a routine.
for instance
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, most of the
people
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 that are around me and exercise regularly tend to live healthier and have better
health
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 conditions especially as they grow older,
Whereas
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 others Who are less mobile suffer from numerous
health
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 issues like pain in their back or leg.
On the other hand
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, others say that
instead
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 of investing a vast amount of
money
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 in building new
sports
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facilities
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, we can invest it in some other ways that happen to be more effective.
For example
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, building new hospitals which are more logical than spending
money
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 on a thing that we don’t know
people
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 actually enjoy , like building
sports
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facilities
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.
One
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 example to clear is my uncle. He used to spend lots of time exercising, but eventually
one
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 day, he got a heart stroke and was transferred to another
city
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, because our
city
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 didn’t have sufficient equipment for his condition.
It is clear that
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 if our
city
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 invested more in
health
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facilities
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,
then
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 my uncle would have operated in his own
city
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.
To sum up
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, I believe both views are respected and both
sports
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facilities
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 and
health
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facilities
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 should be available.
By
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contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 It is wrong to spend so much
money
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 on
one
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 of them and hope it will help improve public
health
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 and forget about the other factors.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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