IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Pocket Money should be given to children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#pocket #money #children
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It is irrefutable that wealth is an important part of life in today’s world as people are working hard just to earn cash. Some believe that pocket
money
Use synonyms
 should be given to children. I completely disagree with
this
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 statement which will be discussed
further
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 in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, the first and foremost reason is that children will not learn about the value of capital if it will be given directly to them by their
parents
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 every month.
For instance
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, if 100 dollars per month will be offered to them every month they will not know about the hard endeavour behind it which their
parents
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 do.
Moreover
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, they will value their
parents
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 a lot more when they will know about the hard work they are doing to run the family. Moving
further
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, youngsters will put great effort to struggle hard if they will attain wealth by themselves and will be much happier. Because the
money
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 will be earned by themselves
then
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 the dreams achieved with that payment will provide them with much satisfaction
as well as
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 happiness. To illustrate, if a cycle is bought by any child with pocket wealth that will just be a normal thing,
however
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, if it will be bought with the
money
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 earned by themselves it will seem like a valuable thing. Not only that but, they will
also
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 look for a job to gain some capital
instead
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 of wandering here and there and involving in crimes if the fund is already given to them. To cite an example, if the children will not struggle as they will already get cash from their mother or father
then
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 they will have much more free time which they will waste by engaging in gang activities.
To conclude
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, pocket
money
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 is the way to destroy youngsters' futures. The value of
money
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Add the comma(s)
, as well as hard work,
show examples
as well as
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 hard work will be learned by them only by earning themselves. And the dreams achieved will them give more satisfaction with their own
money
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.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 should teach their wards to earn
instead
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 of giving them the
money
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that is
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 already earned.
Submitted by Gagan on

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