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Band 6

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
In many countries,
people
 are living longer, resulting in an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
.
This
 shift presents challenges for governments, but it
also
 brings benefits.
This
 essay will explore both sides and assess whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
 can strain public finances. Governments may need to spend more on healthcare and pensions.
For example
, Japan allocates a significant portion of its budget to support its elderly citizens.
Additionally
, with more
people
 retiring, there may be fewer workers, leading to
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 shortages and lower economic productivity.
This
 can result in higher taxes for the working
population
 to sustain welfare programs. Older generations may
also
 be less familiar with new technologies, it was very difficult for me to teach my grandmother how to use the smartphone and do primitive things, which can slow innovation and affect a country's global competitiveness. Societies with a high proportion of older
people
 may find it difficult to adapt quickly to technological advances.
On the other hand
, an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
 has advantages. Older
people
 play a crucial role in preserving cultural heritage and traditions, passing them on to younger generations. They often engage in volunteer work, providing valuable support to communities and sharing life experiences that strengthen social cohesion.
In addition
, sectors
such
 as health and leisure benefit from the growing market of older
people
, stimulating economic growth and creating jobs. In conclusion,
while
 an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population
 poses challenges
such
 as economic strain and potential barriers to innovation, the benefits, including cultural preservation and social stability, are significant. By adapting policies to support and engage older adults, society can maximize these benefits and mitigate the drawbacks.
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task response
While the essay has addressed both sides of the argument, incorporating a wider range of specific examples from different countries or industries will strengthen your argument. Also, consider reducing the wordiness of some sentences to make your points more concise.
coherence and cohesion
Try to seamlessly intertwine your points to help the reader flow through the essay naturally, rather than making it seem like isolated points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the topic and presents the scope of the essay, making it easy for the reader to understand the forthcoming discussion.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas from one point to the next.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a balanced view, reflecting well on the discussion presented in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: