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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#cars #people #reason
No doubt, it is a true fact that the number of
problems
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 rapidly increasing and pollution is one of them which create by
cars
 as everyone gives more importance to their own vehicles
instead
 of public transportation systems. In
this
 essay, I will briefly explain the major issues which growth by Personal
cars
 and some solutions to tackle
this
 obstacle efficiently as well . To commence with the first and foremost point that nowadays ,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 mostly
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 more preferences to their private
cars
 to cover short and Long Distance.Needless to say ,
due to
this
 ,folks face many
problems
 in their lifestyle
such
 as ,they become lazy and inactive in the sports field as they depend upon their
cars
.
For example
, in the current
days
 , elderly
people
 face joint and knee pain at the age of 50 years
whereas
 in bygone
days
 , its problem
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 at the age of 80+.
Moreover
 ,by rising numerous of
cars
 on the roads , it creates multiple
problems
 like traffic jams and different types of pollution as well .
Hence
 , which harms the climate and greenhouse. These difficulties can easily handle by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government support,
firstly
 , authorities have to encourage
people
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
walk and
cycling
Wrong verb form
cycle
show examples
 to travel near their area because it is an eco-friendly method,and
this
 can
also
 help
people
 stay active and
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 in their life .
For instance
,in the past few
days
 ,
people
 loves to travel walking and
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
cycling ,
as a result
 , they faced fewer health
problems
 and environmental issues as compared to today's generation in which obesity is very common.
Apart from
this
 , lawmakers must reduce the price of public transport tickets to encourage
people
 to use them and
also
 increase the fuel rates and car prices,so that middle-class
people
 avoid buying
this
 thing.
To conclude
,
although
 it is very hard to deny that these
days
 the counting of
cars
 is more than past year,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it causes the majority of
problems
 which harm the ecosystem and cause health
problems
 like obesity and many others.
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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