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Band 7

Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few manage to achieve it. What do you think is the reason? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples.

#parents #balance #career #reason
Nowadays, with the current demands of
work
, parents are having trouble achieving a balance between their
families
 and careers, and only a few of them are able can achieve
this
. In my opinion, I believe that if companies establish flexible schedules and governments promote online
work
, a balance could be achieved.
Families
 around the world have trouble coordinating themselves and organising their daily routines with strict timetables imposed by businesses. If enterprises establish flexible schedules,
families
 could improve the organisation of their routines and could improve the equity between
work
 and leisure
time
.
For example
, if a family has a flexible timetable, they could arrive early to pick their children up from school or enter
work
 early to leave as soon as possible, increasing the
time
 to spend in the family and improving the balance between these two concepts.
Moreover
, governments could promote laws to encourage online
work
 in order to make it easier for
families
 to plan their weeks.
Moreover
, when
families
 have the chance to plan their working hours from home, they will try to do their
work
 efficiently, and at the same
time
, spend free
time
 with their relatives, being productive and achieving the desired harmony.
For instance
, during coronavirus, many
families
 had to
work
 from home.
This
 situation revealed that parents saved a lot of
time
 commuting, increased moments spent with their children and improved many family bonds.
To conclude
, I believe that if enterprises establish flexible schedules and governments promote online
work
, parents could achieve real equity between their
work
 and their
families
. Businesses should realise that when workers have the chance to plan their working hours
according to
 their needs, they
work
 more efficiently and productively.
Submitted by carlos.terapiaocupacional on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to organize the ideas and information logically. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all of the sentences in the paragraph are related to that topic.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used, especially in discussing the given topic. Try to use more formal and academic vocabulary and avoid repetition of the same words or phrases.
grammatical range
Develop a wider range of grammatical structures and use more complex sentences. Make sure that verbs and subjects agree and that the tenses are used correctly throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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