IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.

#people #choices
These days ,there are many beliefs about the opportunities that individuals will have throughout their life. There is an opinion says that nowadays a human can gain plenty of
options
.the standing against opinion believes that there are limited choices in our lives. In
this
 essay, I will explain myself frankly and provide evidence of my beliefs. When we look at history and compare the past and the present, we see that too many
options
 were put underneath human hands,
for example
, after starvation ages we can choose between hundreds of food dishes. In the age of globalisation and social
media
Add a comma
,media
show examples
 muti jobs have been introduced particularly online carriers. In
this
 regard,if someone lost his profession there are hundreds of other choices. he could gather his staff and seek
options
 in other countries. Females
also
 find themselves an important part of society and they started their role with many
options
.
However
, a good portion thinks that life demands and huge market competition limits the chances .
for instance
, there are large numbers of new investment projects that fail .
To sum up
, nowadays men and women found themselves in a place where a lot of opportunities are available that can never have by their parents or their grandparents,from the food to the lifestyle and carries.Even if a person fails at something , he has multiple roads to take and different ideas to apply. We can see how people take risks and put their many in highly competitive sectors
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they believe that many
options
 still existed and the beauty of life is mainly located in the diversity of
options
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: