Sports is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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The sporting industry has seen a huge involvement of the corporate sector and business tycoons these days. It has advantages for

sportsmen

Use synonyms

in terms of good training and income

however

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, it degrades the reputation of the

sports

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. To commence with, huge companies investing their funds in

sports

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. First and foremost, the reason is that companies have huge profits by promoting the sportsman. To explicate it clearly, youth follow their favourite

sports

Use synonyms

person, If they do adverts for any company it automatically gains the customers of that particular company.

Moreover

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, it’s

also

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beneficial for unnamed

sports

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such

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as Football in India.

Additionally

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sportsmen

Use synonyms

gain a variety of training and people become aware of new

sports

Use synonyms

Secondly

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sportsmen

Use synonyms

make fem at a global level.

For instance

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, a small company like Byju became famous for investing in cricket

besides

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, and new

sportsmen

Use synonyms

like Chahal and Akshar

gain

Wrong verb form

gained

show examples

their name worldwide. On the sinister side because of external influence, players only pay attention to earning money by doing adverts and movies. Resultantly, they give poor performance in their games. It affects their whole team.

Furthermore

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, If

sports

Use synonyms

teams are involved with business they can make harmful advertisements

such

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as Tobacco and Cigarettes and the youth is influenced by

this

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. These have a negative impact on youngsters. These kinds of actions cause pessimism among people.

For example

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, Famous cricketer Hardik Pandya did a Tobacco advertisement and the young generation started to follow him.

To conclude

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, the Involvement of big companies in

sports

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has many positive impacts like

sports

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nowadays become famous and it

also

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helps sportsman to increase their income. Despite

this

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, we cannot neglect the negative sides of

this

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like the distraction of

sportsmen

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like doing advertisements and It

also

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reduces the name of particular

sports

Use synonyms

kaverigoti2209Wed Jul 24 2024

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task achievement

While your essay addresses the task fully, it would benefit from refining your main arguments. Ensure that each paragraph develops a single idea clearly linked to the main topic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has an appropriate introduction and conclusion. However, strive for smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow and overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

To enhance clarity, consider breaking down complex sentences or ideas into simpler ones. This will make your arguments stronger and more accessible to the reader.

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the question, exploring both positive and negative sides.

task achievement

You have effectively included specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and summarize your main points well, providing clear starting and ending points for your discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Sports is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Levels of consumer debt are increasing across the world. To address this, a new subject should be introduced in secondary schools: how to manage personal finances. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment In your letter: Describe the problem with the equipment Explain how this problem is affecting your work Say what you want the shop or company to do

You and your family are moving to another country for work, and you are looking to buy a house there. Write a letter to a property agent