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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join competitions, the olympics or the world cup Therefore, it is necessary to offer money to encourage children to exercise more to what extent do you agree?

#countries #money #competitors #competitions #olympics #world #cup #offer #children #exercise
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Bill plays an important role in any event that we want to take up, and that's why more and more countries keep the budget for competitors in the Olympics to the fullest. I go with those countries in offering an amount to work harder, encourage in their way forward and make necessary procurements needed.
To begin
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 with, I believe the sum is offered to the athletes or sportsmen for their preparation to join the competition, which encourages them emotionally. Enction plays an important role in the development of skills and strength toward achieving goals.
For instance
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, failing to encourage them leads to demotivation.
For Example
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, when someone was paid more, he gets motivated and put in more effort. Another reason Why I agree is that, without the capital, we can make necessary needs for the proper preparation,
such
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 as diet and equipment. For athletes and sportsmen diet is essential, one should be healthy enough to participate, not just diet, but
also
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 skills that contribute to the athletes & sports person. The only way to get enough skills and training is to have good facilities and equipment to train,
That is
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 why the fund is needed to encourage our children to do more exercise.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that, with the cash we can make our children motivated.. and work harder
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that they can prepare and be competitive competitors in the Olympics.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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