IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph and bar chart below show the average monthly rainfall and temperature for one region of East Africa.

The graph and bar chart below show the average monthly rainfall and temperature for one region of East Africa.
#bar #show #rainfall #temperature #region #africa
Over a
year
, East Africa had a wide range of
rainfall
 and
temperature
 monthly.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the first 2 months of the
year
, the
amount
 of rain is below 50
milimetres
Correct your spelling
millimetres
. The same
amount
 of
rainfall
 poured
also
going
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 low during
Add an article
the mid
show examples
mid
Add a hyphen
mid-year
show examples
year
, specifically
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 June until September, with the lowest over the
year
 in July. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, the
amount
 of rain is higher
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 March until May, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 April
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 300
milimetres
Correct your spelling
millimetres
. During the
last
 three months of the
year
, the
amount
 of rain is decreasing.
Similar
Add an article
The similar
show examples
trend
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
is shown
show examples
 by the
temperature
 in East Africa.
Overall
 each
months
Change to a singular noun
month
show examples
, the
temperature
 is around average
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 44
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 Celcius, going up
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 highest
temperature
 by 24
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 Celcius
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 March.
This
trend
 slowly
going
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 down until July, with 20.5
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 Celcius and started going up again until October. In summary, the
rainfall
 and the
temperature
 in East Africa have the same
trend
. When the
temperature
 increases, so does the
rainfall
. But, the
temperature
trend
 tends to increase and decrease a month earlier compared to the
rainfall
 data.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, rainfall, temperature, amount, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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