IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph and bar chart below show the average monthly rainfall and temperature for one region of East Africa.

The graph and bar chart below show the average monthly rainfall and temperature for one region of East Africa.
#bar #show #rainfall #temperature #region #africa
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Over a
year
Use synonyms
, East Africa had a wide range of
rainfall
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 and
temperature
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 monthly.
At
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In
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 the first 2 months of the
year
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, the
amount
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 of rain is below 50
milimetres
Correct your spelling
millimetres
. The same
amount
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 of
rainfall
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 poured
also
Linking Words
going
Wrong verb form
went
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 low during
Add an article
the mid
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mid
Add a hyphen
mid-year
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year
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, specifically
on
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from
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 June until September, with the lowest over the
year
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 in July. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, the
amount
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 of rain is higher
during
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from
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 March until May, with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak
at
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in
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 April
by
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of
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 300
milimetres
Correct your spelling
millimetres
. During the
last
Linking Words
 three months of the
year
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, the
amount
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 of rain is decreasing.
Similar
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The similar
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trend
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shown
Add the auxiliary verb
is shown
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 by the
temperature
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 in East Africa.
Overall
Linking Words
 each
months
Change to a singular noun
month
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, the
temperature
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 is around average
with
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at
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 44
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
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 Celcius, going up
with
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to
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it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 highest
temperature
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 by 24
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 Celcius
on
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in
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 March.
This
Linking Words
trend
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 slowly
going
Wrong verb form
went
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 down until July, with 20.5
degree
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degrees
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 Celcius and started going up again until October. In summary, the
rainfall
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 and the
temperature
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 in East Africa have the same
trend
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. When the
temperature
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 increases, so does the
rainfall
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. But, the
temperature
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trend
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 tends to increase and decrease a month earlier compared to the
rainfall
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 data.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, rainfall, temperature, amount, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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