IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#religion #schools
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Religion
 has always been a topic of controversy when it comes to its place in educational institutions. Some argue that
religion
 should be taught in
schools
 as a way to educate
students
 about morality, ethics, and cultural traditions. Others believe that
schools
 should avoid teaching
religion
 altogether in order to maintain a secular and impartial atmosphere. Those in favour of teaching
religion
 in
schools
 believe that it can provide a solid foundation for ethical and moral development in
students
.
Religion
 can serve as a source of guidance on how to navigate moral dilemmas and live an ethical life. It can
also
 serve as an opportunity for
students
 to learn about different cultural practices and values, developing empathy and understanding.
On the other hand
, those opposed to teaching
religion
 in
schools
 argue that it opens the door
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 bias and discrimination against certain
religions
. When a particular
religion
 is taught in school,
students
 may feel forced to conform to the teachings and beliefs of that specific
religion
, potentially alienating
students
 of different faiths or those who don't believe in
religion
 at all.
Additionally
, it may be challenging for
schools
 to appropriately represent a wide range of
religions
 and cultures in a way
that is
 respectful and comprehensive. In my opinion, the best approach is an educational approach
that is
 inclusive of all
religions
 and, at the same time, neutral. Rather than promoting a specific
religion
,
schools
 can teach world
religions
 in a comparative manner, with a focus on history and culture, without endorsing or discouraging any specific belief system.
This
 method provides an opportunity for
students
 to understand and respect different
religions
 and beliefs rather than feeling forced to conform to one particular set of beliefs. In conclusion, whether should
religion
 be taught in
schools
 is a sensitive issue that requires careful consideration.
While
 some may argue for outright avoidance or for full support, the optimal path lies in a middle ground that allows for a comprehensive and neutral approach to religious education.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • religious education
  • multi-faith society
  • values and ethics
  • tolerance
  • diversity
  • religious freedom
  • secular education
  • curriculum
  • worldviews
  • interfaith dialogue
  • religious literacy
  • moral guidance
  • cultural understanding
  • critical thinking
  • respect
  • indoctrination
  • religious beliefs
  • secular state
  • religious extremism
  • academic subject
What to do next:
Look at other essays: